I’m Just Gonna Get Some Cats and Learn to Knit, Here’s Why

Dating. It’s a sad state of affairs when this week’s boring, non stop talking, bad breath having date is worst than last week’s date, who did the following:

• admitted that it gets him hard to humiliate chicks and make them cry
• suggested his fetish had something to do with him being molested by a priest as a child
• said I was the weird one for not having a fetish and not wanting to “cuddle” in the middle of the bar
• ate with his god damn fucking fingers (and when asked why, told me that he hasn’t used a fork in three years because in 2009, he was hooking up with some chick, couldn’t get it hard, and from that point on decided to get in touch with his primordial self, thereby not using fucking utensils)