December 2010
You Know Who I Hate?
People who use the phrase “making art”.
Brief Update On The Happenings In Nicaragua
- I’m kinda sick
- Computer is still busted
- I’ve done nothing but eat, sleep and read
- Beans are so damn good
There's A Nicaraguan Television Program Called
Without Titties There Is No Paradise
My Bad
My cousins are saying that my computer died because I didn’t kiss the baby Jesus this year. I kind of sort of believe them.
To All You Dudes Expressing Sadness Over Natalie Portman's Recent Engagement And Pregnancy
Um, hellloooo…it’s not like you had a chance before any of this happened. Sucker.
Merry Christmas!
My bullshit stupid mother fucking computer decided today was a great day to die. I am now stuck in a third workd country with no fucking computer for the next 8 days.
On the bright side, I raked in enough money in presents to buy a brand new computer. So the timing was good. I guess. I mean, if I HAD to come up with a positive out of this nightmare, then I suppose that would be it.
Yeah, I’m gonna go eat my sorrows away. See ya in 2011.
I Burned My Neck With The Curling Iron
All my conservative Nicaraguan cousins are gonna think I’m a whore with a hickey.
Creative Grooming →
pinkcoyote.net
“For those who are overly concerned about the dog’s emotions. Cindy loves the attention.”
“For those who are overly concerned about the dog’s emotions. Cindy loves the attention.”
I Don't Want To Sound Like A Stuck Up Bitch Or Anything
But I just need to point out that the people heading to Miami on the 545am flight from JFK are very different from the people heading to Miami on the 130pm flight from LGA. Very different.
God Must Be Laughing At Me
On top of everything—my concussion, my cancelled flight, me rescheduled flight at 5 motherfuckingAM—I wake up at 3 am to rush to the airport and I get my god damn period.
My Flight Got Cancelled
So now, to get to Miami to make a connection to Nicaragua and get there before Christmas, I need to get on a plane at 545am from JFK.
And then sit in the Miami airport for 6 mother fucking hours.
With a concussion.
I’m going to cry.
Play
Things That Aren’t Helping My Concussion #3
Packing. My head hurts too much to pack effectively. I’m taking a giant suitcase filled with clothes I probably can’t make one outfit out of.
My Old Drug Dealer Is On Millionaire Matchmaker Right Now
Also, he has tattoos covering his entire body. Even his ass. I know because he showed me. In the middle of a bar.
Things That Aren't Helping My Concussion #2
The chick upstairs hammering. Non fucking stop. I’m starting to wonder if she builds furniture for a living.
Things That Aren't Helping My Concussion #1
The girl in the office next door to me is listening to what appears to be the Christina Aguilera Christmas album, on full fucking blast.
Dating Dealbreaker: Bad Tattoos
If your taste is so bad that you can’t even choose nice things to brand your body with, you shouldn’t brand your body at all. Oh, and get new shoes.
6 hours, 2 doctors and 1 CAT scan later.
And I’m in the clear to fly to Nicaragua after my retarded fucking head injury. What a nightmare, but hey, at least I walked away with a bottle of Vicodin!
I Banged the Fuck Out of My Head Today
On the porcelain part of the towel holder, and now I got a big ol’ painful lump on my forehead. It hurt so bad that I felt it in my damn face and had to immediately sit down to collect myself.
UPDATE: What if I have a concussion? I feel funny.
I did not know that film was a comedy.
It’s not. Just go watch it.
Just Saw The Fighter
Loved it. It truly had everything—laughs, tears, suspense. Christian Bale, Mark Wahlberg and Amy Adams were all amazing.
The Rules That Apply In The Library Should Also Apply In The Spa
Keep your god damn mother fucking voice down. I’m trying to relax.
I just cleaned the living shit out my apartment.
Currently Watching
You know what's gross?
Pot lucks.
No, I don’t want to eat some crap you made at your dirty ass cat hair infested house.
