That little baby teacup chihuahua you were carrying around in a leopard print bag totally fucking killed it. And not in a good way. You doofus.
- I’m looking for a new apartment.
- I’m looking for a mortgage I can afford.
- I need an attorney.
- I have a trillion billion thousand projects at work and they are all due within the week.
- I leave for Barcelona in exactly seven days.
- Did I mention that all of a sudden I’m a grown up with a mortgage and a lawyer and a job where I actually have to do work and I constantly feel like I’m going to have a panic attack and said panic attack might be hindering my productivity? Yeah, there’s also that.
I’m too busy being a grown up and finding a mortgage. Next on the list: cats.
I had a dream that I had a vibrator that was also a video game. So it had this screen, and it gives you a score every time you cum, so the goal is to cum as hard as possible. I bet the girl next door would be the world champion.
Oh, also, in the dream, the vibrator wasn’t actually mine, it was my Mom’s. Ew.
Doodah’s limited-edition Supermodel Skateboard Project, which features from left to right: Erin Wasson, Lara Stone, Toni Garn and Isabeli Fontana, was shot by Claudia Knoepfel and Stefan Indlekofer. Each deck sells for about $92, but Erin’s won’t be available until August and Isabeli’s is already sold out. Find out more here.
Did your parents mess you up with “toxic parenting” (©1990)? Did your drunk mom set the patio furniture on fire? Did your dad kill your pet fish in angry rage and it’s too much of a downer to think about? That’s OK. We wanted something more quirky. Like the guy (no names!) who grew up thinking he had to wear tighty-whites UNDER his boxer shorts or the woman who’s afraid to talk to anyone with blue eyeshadow. Admitting you have a problem is the first step in moving out of mom’s basement. Self-help us to self-help you.
Call us on the air at 201-209-9368. We want to hear your non-depressing, non-nauseating, non-libelous tales of parenting gone wrong.
It all goes down this Friday from 6 to 7pm (Eastern) on WFMU 91.1 (NYC area) or WFMU.org.
Shut Up, Weirdo: An Oasis of Repose in This Chaotic World.
And I will not be showering today.
I so love this. (via Refinery29)
Anyone been? Got any suggestions? Hit me up at Frangry@gmail.com.