December 2009
When I get back to NYC, I wanna go bowling.
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I'm so over all of these stupid End of the...
Who gives a flying fuck.
In Nicaragua, they refer to a speed bump as a “policia acostado” which roughly translates to a “laying down/sleeping policeman”.
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“Can you get rid of the empty glasses? We look like a couple of boozers.”
– Dad on our latest photo.
Formspring.me is so fucking goddamn played out and...
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“Get fucked.”
– YMFY; I don’t know what these two are fighting about, and I don’t really care, but I’m totally going to start using this line.
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“You wield your pussy power like a painter wields his brush.”
I know I'm late on this, but I don't care.
The opening of Lolita might be the single greatest thing ever written.
Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on...
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I'm reading Lolita for the first time.
Is it wrong that I’m sort of completely turned on?
Email of the Day
From: Some douche I don’t know Date: Dec. 26, 2009 9:15PM Subject: Wrong Address Santa dropped me off at the wrong apartment because when I jumped out of the gift-wrapped box, yesterday morning, you were no where in sight… you must have been so disappointed conisdering I was the #1 request on your list to st nick!! hope you had a very merry… I received coal, once again, but...
Yo, Brazil's Next Top Model is some next level...
The gringa U.S. bitches got nothing on these hotties.
Michelada A La Nica
Every Christmas, on my trip to Nicaragua, there is some food or drink that changes my life. Last year was the buñuelo and, as previously mentioned, this year it’s the Michelada. If you like a Bloody Mary, then listen up… The first thing you need to do is make sure you use a big beer mug, otherwise the taste is gonna be off. Cover the rim with sea salt, just like a margarita. Place the...
Nicaragua So Far
Food, food, and more food.
I had a drink that has changed my life. It’s called a Michelada. Recipe coming up in a later post.
It has taken me three days to find some sort of SPF in this country, and when I finally did, it was a tanning oil with SPF 4. Skin cancer here I come.
AntiKris has a nephew who just happens to be my... →
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My sister is listening to the worst spanish rap I...
My ears might start bleeding.
When I was 12, my brother and I made a pact that...
Not for birthdays. Not for Christmas. Not for anything. It’s straight retarded. You spend $40 to get someone something they probably don’t even want, they spend $40 to get you something you wouldn’t buy in a million fucking years. The Dreyfus Chamorro family says you should save your time, money, and effort and buy yourself something you know you’ll know you’ll love....
My sister referred to Pancake as a "stuffed...
And I had to cover his ears. Poor little guy.
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There's a woman blow drying her hair in the...
And she has a tattoo that says ‘taken’ in old English across her giant ass. I know because I saw it, along with her lime green g string.
The flight attendant is wearing mistletoe on her...
The smell that surrounds Auntie Anne's Pretzels at...
Makes me want to shrivel up and die.
Also, I swear to god the woman sitting next to me...
She is straight up growling like a wild animal and licking her lips.
I thought there would be traffic or a crazy...
So I left my house at 9am for my international flight that departs at Noon. It’s now 945 and I’ve already checked in and pigged out on Danishes. I dont arrive in nicaragua until 930pm. It’s going to be a long long day.
