“It was amazing I took xtc and licked a women’s boots for 3hrs. That was just day 1.”
—Shut Up, Weirdo listener John McCabe telling me about his recent trip to The Bahamas (via shutupweirdo)
June 2013
I said YOLO to someone today. And I meant every single letter.
Best News To Wake Up To
Office closed due to overnight building fire (it was in the basement and nobody got hurt).
BFFs 2
- Me: That dude's nose is so wrong.
- Antikris: But his dick is so right.
BFFs
- [Antikris and I talking about my arm surgery]
- Antikris: Which hand do you give hand jobs with?
- Me: I'm a grown ass woman, I use my mouth.
This Week in OKCupid Disasters
For the last two days, I have been in contact with some dude who has repeatedly found a way to bring money into our conversation. Here are some examples of the things he has mentioned:
- he’s an attorney with his own firm
- he lives in a $3 million dollar apartment
- he and his ex-wife got divorced because she stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from him
- he makes over $1,000,000 a year
- his ex-business partner spent years stealing money from their company because of a coke habit, but he recently bought him out
- he paid his ex girlfriend’s rent so that she could live near him
- he asked “if we dated,” would I let him help me out financially so that we could “do fun stuff” during the week
I shot down all of this by saying things like “I’m a grown ass woman and can pay my own rent” and “your ex sounds like a gold digger.”
An hour before we were supposed to meet for dinner tonight, I said “Not everything is about money!” to which he replied “Sorry, I’m thinking that this isn’t a good idea.”
Guess I struck a chord.
May 2013
Mom refuses to take the subway.
